How to Balance Womanhood, Family and Business - Without Guilt
The subject of mom guilt comes up often when you are in your late ‘30s, have three small children and a career: it’s all over my Instagram feed, on the parenting podcasts I listen to and in conversation with mom-friends. The only useful content I’ve ever seen on it is: you’re a mother, but you’re also a woman.
That really struck a chord and it made me realize, I have a slightly less typical view on the whole issue of mom guilt because I was mothered by a very a-typical mother. While she is no longer with us on this earth, or by my physical side as I mother her grandchildren, her legacy is a daily reminder to me that my greatest legacy to my own children is to follow my dreams, as she did.
Serena balancing life as a mom and business owner
Here’s the proverbial thing: you truly cannot be the mother you’re meant to be until you’re the woman you want to be.
Sure, we are all a work in progress, but if you are constantly putting your aspirations aside in the service of your children (or spouse), it’s impossible to be the woman you’ve always dreamt of being. How is that a service to them?
I always dreamed of being a successful businesswoman and a mother. Along the way, many told me I had to choose one over the other.
“It’s really hard to be both.”
“You need to pick one.”
“You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”
They were wrong and I knew that for a fact. I had the data: I grew up the daughter of a successful businesswoman who was also a wonderful mother. Because of her, I know it’s possible.
Was it easy for her to constantly juggle between her career and her children? No.
Was she exhausted by the end of each day? Yes.
Did she miss school functions? Yes.
But was she happy? Fulfilled? Yes. Very clearly, yes.
And was I happy? Yes.
Did I feel connected to her, deeply? Yes.
There was not one moment of my childhood when I doubted her devotion to me and my brother.
And because of her, from a very early age, I knew how important it was for her sense of self and for her identity as a mother, and a woman, to be true to her own dreams and ambitions.
Now I’m a grown woman, with three small children, trying hard to juggle marriage, motherhood and the building of a company that means so much to me my heart hurts.
Every day there are trade-offs, wins and misses. That’s life.
Throughout the course of each day, I consciously try to take at least one step towards reminding myself of who I am, what I love to do, and what my dreams are beyond the scope of my beautiful family.
In doing so, I know I’m a better mother to my kids.
When my daughter asks me “How was business today?” my heart lights up, because I know she’s watching me live out my entrepreneurial dreams. My twin boys, too young now to articulate such questions, are watching us, listening.
What will that inspire in her? In them? Will it remind her when she’s a mother, if that’s the path she chooses, to dream big both for herself and her family?
I certainly hope so.
In addition to being a wife and mom, Serena is the co-founder of Le Wren Care, a custom care package service on a mission to make women feel loved, cared for, and seen through intentional gifts that facilitate healing and connection.